You know how I always try to look on the bright side, stay positive and put some kind of “good vibe” out in the world with every post? Well… (just a heads up) this post isn’t going to have any of that.
Cleaning the house
Spending oodles of money on gas
(here come the waterworks)
This was my email to Cason a few days ago:
Okay, so I cried today when I put these two side by side. (what!? me crying over my weight? shocker!)
Maybe it was ironic, maybe it was a sign, but the next day, this is what arrived on my front porch.
By now you all know how much music motivates me while working out. Well, so does my sweet husband. A few weeks ago I told him that the headphones I’d been using were starting to fall apart. The sound was still great, but the padding on the earpieces were starting to rip and tear, which hurt my ears. I can’t wear ear buds, because apparently my ears are too small/weird shaped/not made for them, so I’ve always preferred the full-on headphones to workout with (even if I DO look like a nerd). Now anyone who knows Cason at all, knows that he’s OBSESSED with surprises, presents and well… just giving in general. Definitely not a bad trait to have in a husband, I must admit 😉 That being said, with a bunch of online credits, some discounts and even a coupon code, he managed to snag me these crazy-AMAZING new Beats by Dr. Dre. It was a complete surprise to me, and I went into a full-on ugly cry when I opened the box, after having a particularly hard day with my stupid foot and a series of dead-end doctors appointments.
Another thing you have to know about my adorable guy and all-time best friend, is that he has got to be one of THE MOST supportive husbands around (I’m sure you’ve figured this out by now). From the home projects, to the blog… he’s nothing short of completely amazing. My weight loss journey has been especially trying on my emotions this past year and without fail, he has been right there… letting me yell to him about how frustrated I am, cry on his shoulder, or jumping up and down with me looking like compelete idiots when I lose more than 2 pounds in a week. Mostly, I do all the dramatics, and he’s more of a silent supporter… knowing that just BEING THERE for me is what I need the most from him; reminding me all the time, with his laid back, carefree attitude…
“Psshh, you’ve GOT this babe!”
Do I this time though? Do I have what it takes to KEEP going, even when it feels like something really hard is being piled on top of something that already seems impossible?
Again, this post is definitely more therapeutic for me, being now that I have all of these crazy thoughts and feelings off my chest, and I hope you truly understand that in NO WAY is this an attempt to get a few sympathy comments or an inbox full of motivational weight loss advice; merely a reality check that this whole “losing LOTS of weight stuff” is SO hard, emotional, time consuming, and tiring. And I think it’s just as important, if I’ve gone this far to put my story out there for all of our blogging friends to read, that it’s only fair to share the good, the bad and… the truth, about how I feel at this point in my journey.
I’m sure things will look a lot differently in 2 weeks or so (crossing my fingers), and I’ll be back at it with my good ol’ workout routine, but for now… I’m just gonna go lay in my bed, put my foot in a sexy ankle brace, mindlessly wander around Pinterest while watching the last episode of the Batchelorette, and call it the official start of my weekend.