I found an article the other day on Momastery and it really struck a cord with me. I quickly highlighted and copied parts of it into my notebook on my phone, so I could send it to Cason later.
Within minutes I was crying and laughing all at once, and I knew I had to share it with you too, because as women, I think we all feel these things from time to time.
Excerpt from Glennon @ Mommastery:
Explaining to your Husband how your day was.
“It was the best of times and the worst of times. There were moments when my heart was so full I thought I might explode, and there were other moments when my senses were under such intense assault that I was CERTAIN I’d explode.
I was both lonely and absolutely desperate to be alone.
I was saturated—just BOMBARDED with touch and then the second I put down the baby, I yearned to smell her sweet skin again.
I was simultaneously bored out of my skull and completely overwhelmed with so much to do.
Today was too much and not enough. It was loud and silent. It was brutal and beautiful. I was at my very best today and then, just a moment later, at my very worst.
Husband—when your day is completely and totally dependent upon the moods and needs and schedules of tiny, messy, beautiful kids, your day is ALL OF THE THINGS and NONE OF THE THINGS, sometimes within the same three minute period.
But I’m not complaining.
This is not a complaint, so don’t try to FIX IT.
I wouldn’t have my day Any.Other.Way. I’m just saying—it’s a really hard thing to explain—an entire day with lots of babies/kids.
But I’m too tired to say all of that. So I just cry, or yell, or smile and say “fine,” and then hand the kids over to you, and run to Target to wander aisles aimlessly, because that’s all I ever really wanted.
But I’d be a little sad because love is about really being seen and known and I wasn’t being seen or known then. Everything is really hard to explain. It makes me feel lonely.”
Summer is really kickin’ my booty you guys. I feel like by the time Cason gets home at the end of the day, I’m a hot freakin’ mess.
Sure, working outside the home was stressful, hard, time consuming and I wouldn’t go back unless I really had to… but this SAHM stuff is even MORE emotionally and mentally exhausting then I remember.
The amount of fighting, whining, crying, teasing, complaining, yelling, silly forced giggling (yes, that can actually get annoying too), pushes me over the edge on certain days!
I know, I know… I should really cherish these moments (and I DO!)… some more than others.
(insert sarcasm here)
I’m in LOVE with the pink rug we purchased from Rugs USA, and have been slowly organizing things into their proper place, so that I can finally clear out our basement storage room. AKA: The spot where all of our crap got thrown in the frantic move and scramble to finish the basement.
Next blog post… entry and hallway molding update – whoohoo! I’m SO EXCITED for this!